answering back!

Most problems with pre-school children arise because of immature brain systems and the development of autonomy requires the development of many difficult social skills; negotiation and questioning is one of them! The steps to responding to answering back are to acknowledge that you have heard their opinion, respond and if they dont accept what you say remind them you have already answered them. You may then have to ignore. Removing privileges and telling her she is upsetting you are important messages to remind her there are consequences to not respecting your final decision (having respecting her in listening to her opinion). NEVER use sarcasm, eye rolling, irony, mocking or most of all answering her back in turn. You are the model for how she interacts with other people. Her apparent lack of remorse in saying sorry is not unusual. She is trying to make you happy but as yet she has not learnt what sorry actually means. I always tell chidren (even my adult children!!!) that saying sorry means I promise i dont want to do that (behaviour) again. I also never expect children to say sorry unless they mean it. Remorse, responsibility and moral dilemma are all caught up in that one word. If she is asking you 'are you happy' be honest and tell her no and why. You have a dialogue between you and she and so you have already achieved so much.